I down a white pill which I’ve never seen before
swallow it with gin and
hope I don’t freak out
Freaking out would ruin the whole thing
When I loose feeling in my fingertips I decide to take a bath
hope I don’t drown
Drowning would ruin the high
which doesn’t come soon enough so
I swallow another pill
this one pink and for a second
I regret it all
because
my grandmother used to have pink roses in her garden and my grandmother
never drank but she did take a lot of fucking pills so I forget the thought and
my bath is cold
How long have I been here?
It’s dark outside but not that cold and I can’t remember
who I’m supposed to meet or
why
I realize I’m late as fuck so I call a number
Tell them I won’t come
WHY? Someone asks and I think there’s a party going on so I hang up the phone
It’s quiet everywhere, I turn on the TV and the room gets flooded with
nothing
Falling asleep never comes easy but staying awake is harder so I lay in
nothing
for a while
until nothing consumes me or
I down a white pill which I’ve never seen before